Thursday, July 19, 2007

HP7 Drinking Game

[relocated from Facebook, and back-dated. composed prior to the release of the seventh book]

Weinbloom & Wolahan bring you:

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
The Drinking Game

We recommend using M&Ms in lieu of actual alcohol for this game, unless you are particularly talented at reading while smashed.

Enjoy!


Take a drink every time:

Harry’s scar hurts

Someone shouts in ALL CAPS

Hermione encourages reference to “Hogwarts, A History”

Three drinks if someone other than Hermione mentions “Hogwarts, A History”

Malfoy insults someone’s parents

2 if someone actually manages to restrain their anger when Malfoy insults their parents.

Five drinks if we finally get a decent “your mom” joke in response

Drink if Ron and Hermione start bickering

2 if Ron and Hermione start snogging

Trelawney predicts someone’s imminent death

Rowling foreshadows someone’s imminent death

2 when someone actually dies who wasn’t foreshadowed at all

Aunt Petunia purses her lips

Bad pun in a proper noun (ie, Diagon Alley)

Two drinks for a good pun

There’s evidence that journalists and newspapers in the Wizarding world are corrupt

Two drinks if a journalist does something good

Hermione runs away to do something without any explanation

Drink every time you get furious about a character’s immense and stubborn stupidity

Snape sneers

Lupin looks shabby

Tonks trips over something

Neville trips over something

Peeves smashes something

Hagrid breeds something

Ron or Harry refer to S.P.E.W as “Spew”

Nearly Headless Nick adjusts his head

Someone new stops calling Voldemort “You-Know-Who”

2 if she explains the "triumphant look"

Dobby extolls Harry's greatness

Ron runs from spiders

Fleur kisses someone on the cheek

Someone says Harry has his mother's eyes

Harry tallies the remaining horcruxes

3 if RAB is NOT Regulus Black

Finish if Harry ends up being the only one who thinks Snape is good

If Snape really truly is evil, send JKR a Howler

Someone says something darkly

2 if Neville and Luna hook up

2 if Harry attempts to use an Unforgivable curse

Finish the drink if he succeeds

Have another entire drink if he is immediately filled with remorse

Harry returns to the curtain at the Department of Mysteries

2 if he finds Sirius there

Kreacher sulks

Harry complains about the unpleasantness of apparition

2 if Neville saves the day

Fawkes returns

Harry enrolls at Hogwarts for his seventh year after all

Harry pines for Ginny

Mrs. Weasley cooks

Hagrid is a poor cook

Any "sickening thud"

Harry enters a pensieve

Mrs. Weasley's clock is referenced

Hermione has exam anxiety

2 if Hermione has exam anxiety though not enrolled in school

3 if someone ends up going to college

4 if it's a Muggle college

Finish the bottle if it's Harvard

The first chapter starts outside Harry's point of view

The last chapter ends outside Harry's point of view

There's an epilogue summarizing the rest of everyone's lives

Any clearly slash-y line that slipped past the editors (ie, "Who's Cedric, your boyfriend?")

Ron and Hermione make each other jealous

Aberforth Dumbledore appears

Aberforth Dumbledore appears, with goats

Hogwarts has a drastically reduced student population

Hogwarts is under threat of being closed

Petunia displays more knowledge of wizarding world

2 if the Dursleys do something right for once

Muggles get involved in the war

Hermione mentions, talks to, or (gasp!) visits her parents

Hermione sneaks into the Hogwarts Library while not a student

The three don't fit under the invisibility cloak

This Lupin/Tonks thing turns out to be something else entirely

Harry has a monster in his stomach/chest/other awkward body part

2 if JKR writes a remotely legit romance subplot

Mutter grumpily if she completely screws up Ron/Hermione

Malfoy is shown sympathetically

Snape is shown sympathetically

There's a connection between Godric's Hollow and Godric Gryffindor

Any time someone we've heard of dies

Harry remembers that everyone he loves is dead

Ron gets in the way

Ron does something really great and important

Ron gloats about great and important thing for next three weeks

If it takes Ron more tries to pass his apparition test than it took you to pass your driving test (sulk in the corner if you still can't drive)

Harry doubts his father's integrity

2 if Harry manages to win the day without having destroyed all the horcruxes

3 if Harry is a horcrux

Finish if Harry kills himself

Voldemort is destroyed in an as-yet-unpredictable fashion that isn't avada kedavra

Finish if Voldemort is destroyed with love. And complain loudly.